Wiener dog warrior Vs Hatchet wielding wild man! Weirdest picnic ever.

We took all five of our kids camping for two weeks in the Canadian Rockies when Drew was only five months old. He did not care where we were as long as he got a bottle and we held him. However, Simon was almost three and quite a different story. Everything about a tent, sleeping bags, air mattresses, and especially the FIRE were the most interesting things he had ever seen. Getting a three-year-old to settle down in the tent and go to bed was mission impossible. He walked on our heads, cried, walked on our heads some more, cried, and finally collapsed.

Looking back on it now I can't believe we camped for two weeks. Lest you think we are wilderness survival kind of people, we are not. We spent most of our time in campgrounds with running water, showers, and $1 ice cream cones. One campground displayed a cooler torn apart by a bear at the front gate. It was to warn us the grizzly bears were really in the area and that we should not have food out for any reason. The person who took my money said they had seen a mother grizzly and her two cubs around the campsite earlier that week. I did not pass this information along to Jennifer, but we did not make any meals at camp :)

Our greatest adventure came at a public park in Banff. We were playing in a couple of little lakes and the kids where having a great time. The girls made friends with another little girl and they were building sandcastles together. Suddenly a little Dachshund started to bark at the little girl. Her father came charging after the dog and the owner, screaming at him about leash laws and how he needed to put that dog on a leash. The guy picked up his dog and was angry at the frantic, aggressive dad. He did not look very macho standing there holding his wiener dog. The wiener dog warrior told angry dad to lighten up—the dog was fine and no threat. Irate dad told wiener warrior he was going to call the police. Wiener dog man said “No problem go for it”.

I thought the machismo match was over. No way. Screaming dad said “If you won’t put your dog on a leash I will kill it!” Then he picked up a HATCHET from his picnic supplies (possibly packed for dog killing purposes?). After a few moments of intense silence, wiener dog guy said, “Dude you're nuts" and walked away. I said, “Uh, kids, let’s go”.  The near death of the Dachshund is now in the family record books as “weirdest picnic”.