To DVD or not to DVD that is the question?

 I can not remember how many times I've had the conversation with parents concerning the appropriate use of media while traveling. I have read a lot about this from child psychologists, bloggers, etc. Everyone seems to fall down on one of two sides: movies, games, and electronics in the car will ruin your kid’s life and they will end up a hoodlum in the streets and probably addicted to drugs; or electronics are the only way to survive the trip with kids as no child could ever be expected to sit in a car seat for more than 30 seconds without being entertained or bedlam will ensue.

As with most things in life I believe the solution to electronics in the car is a hybrid. I would not trade the moments we’ve had on our journeys without electronics. For example, Jennifer would read to us. We’ve laughed with Junie B and cried with Jean val Jean. We’ve cheered at Voldemort’s undoing and Matilda’s magical powers. Oftentimes we’ll listen to music; one person gets to choose the playlist or the kids all belt out Defying Gravity together. As a result, we all like a lot of the same music and that’s fun. (Yes, I had to subject myself to more Hannah Montana than anyone should but my children also have an affinity towards U2—bonus!). We’ve played various games like the license plate game, the alphabet game and one we affectionately titled, “yellow car” (wherein everyone yells “yellow car” when they spot a yellow car--that’s it). There was of course much napping by everyone but the driver.

But, we also watched a movie in the evening, once it got dark. The kids hold out until late in the day before watching a video. We’d try to time it to where the movie would end about the same time we arrived at our destination--thus eliminating the “Are we there yet?” conversation. On balance, I cannot remember the movies my kids watched in the car, but I do remember many of our sing-alongs conversations games and books. However, movies got us through the last two hours of some very long rides. Like most things in life—moderation is the answer to the question: to DVD or not to DVD?

I never want to go back, but I would like to visit again

I never want to go back, but I would like to visit again.

For years when our kids were little people would see us at church or around town loading, unloading, looking for shoes, picking up dropped keys, dropped bottles, dropped toys, whatever, and they would say: “I remember those days. They were the happiest times of my life! They grow up too fast! You’ll miss it, trust me”.

And I would think: The happiest times of your life?  Wow.  You must have a horrible life! Surely you have forgotten what it’s like. What about jam?

I am convinced for a period of at least ten years my children didn’t actually consume sticky foods—they just spread them on other surfaces.  I can’t count times I touched something sticky: counter tops, doorknobs, drawer handles; JAM EVERYWHERE. And besides jam, how about trying to leave the house! We carried around a diaper bag for thirteen years. Thirteen YEARS. Every time went anywhere it was like packing for a weekend getaway. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, but hearing: “This is the best time of you life” was a little discouraging . . . So no money, no time, no nice things (see jam rant) is as good as it gets. Again, I say: Wow. After the diaper, earache, consta-snot, sticky years, it’s all down hill. Well, at least we have something to look forward to, like death.

Now a decade later, two of my five are out of the nest and the remaining three can find their own shoes (in fairness I did have to remind the 10 year old last night he needs to changes his underwear every day #boys). I can see why those well intended soon to be or already emptynesters would say what they did.  I miss ‘em. Look, I’ll be the first to admit being able to shop with my wife for an hour without finding, picking up, and trusting a pre-teen baby sitter is awesome! Still I miss them. Now I can talk to my kids about art, music, sports, politics and whatever. I love that! Added bonus: NO JAM.  But I miss the cute things they would say. I miss the jammies and even Dragon Tales (not often).  This morning as I was waking up, I longed for a bed head, bad breath kiddo to crawl in my bed and put her cold feet on my back. That ship has sailed. And the sad thing is, it never comes back. Memories are filtered to remember the good times. I don’t want to go back to stepping on Barbie shoes and pink medicine constantly in the fridge. Not permanently at least, but I would like to go back for a visit.

Cool coasters have nothing on my mad football skills….or something like that.

Two years ago we took an awesome trip to Sandusky, Ohio, home of the world famous Cedar Point amusement park. Cedar Point was the last stop on our epic road trip from Indy to upstate New York. Cousins from Idaho traveled with us and we made great memories (like taking the log ride six times at the end of day while chanting: “You say CEDAR; I’ll say POINT; CEDAR! POINT! CEDAR POINT! We were pretty into it). The trip included tons of fun stuff: a really fun lake house, many cool LDS Church history sites, Great Wolf lodge, and Niagara Falls. We saved Cedar Point for last on purpose. It did not disappoint—providing the world’s fastest, tallest and coolest coaster! I highly recommend a visit.

So the morning after Cedar Point Drew (8) and I got up early (like we had most mornings during the trip) to play catch with the football. We tossed the pigskin around for about twenty minutes before anyone else woke up. I enjoyed the time together; it gave me an opportunity to talk to him one on one. As we were tossing the ball, I asked him, “What has been your favorite part of this trip?” He didn’t miss a beat, “Playing catch with you”. I was stunned. Was he messing with me? He wasn’t old enough to tell me what I wanted to hear. The crazy thing was, he meant it. He told me straight up what he felt. So I wondered: why did I spend all this time and money taking you half way around the country if the back yard would do?

It’s hard to believe all kids really want is time. I think we tell ourselves that something changes from toddler to teen and kids would prefer an iPod over an hour with dad. But do kids really change? Or do they just follow our lead as they move to adulthood? Putting a higher value on the highly valued electronic device or whatever else because that’s what they see us do? I don’t know, maybe. But I’ll tell you one thing for sure: since then, I have tried to spend more time just spending more time with my kids. 

Wiener dog warrior Vs Hatchet wielding wild man! Weirdest picnic ever.

We took all five of our kids camping for two weeks in the Canadian Rockies when Drew was only five months old. He did not care where we were as long as he got a bottle and we held him. However, Simon was almost three and quite a different story. Everything about a tent, sleeping bags, air mattresses, and especially the FIRE were the most interesting things he had ever seen. Getting a three-year-old to settle down in the tent and go to bed was mission impossible. He walked on our heads, cried, walked on our heads some more, cried, and finally collapsed.

Looking back on it now I can't believe we camped for two weeks. Lest you think we are wilderness survival kind of people, we are not. We spent most of our time in campgrounds with running water, showers, and $1 ice cream cones. One campground displayed a cooler torn apart by a bear at the front gate. It was to warn us the grizzly bears were really in the area and that we should not have food out for any reason. The person who took my money said they had seen a mother grizzly and her two cubs around the campsite earlier that week. I did not pass this information along to Jennifer, but we did not make any meals at camp :)

Our greatest adventure came at a public park in Banff. We were playing in a couple of little lakes and the kids where having a great time. The girls made friends with another little girl and they were building sandcastles together. Suddenly a little Dachshund started to bark at the little girl. Her father came charging after the dog and the owner, screaming at him about leash laws and how he needed to put that dog on a leash. The guy picked up his dog and was angry at the frantic, aggressive dad. He did not look very macho standing there holding his wiener dog. The wiener dog warrior told angry dad to lighten up—the dog was fine and no threat. Irate dad told wiener warrior he was going to call the police. Wiener dog man said “No problem go for it”.

I thought the machismo match was over. No way. Screaming dad said “If you won’t put your dog on a leash I will kill it!” Then he picked up a HATCHET from his picnic supplies (possibly packed for dog killing purposes?). After a few moments of intense silence, wiener dog guy said, “Dude you're nuts" and walked away. I said, “Uh, kids, let’s go”.  The near death of the Dachshund is now in the family record books as “weirdest picnic”.  

Ninth grade girls should not pretend to be Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP).

One of the first trips we ever took as a family was to Canada. It was just Jennifer, Sydney, Emma, and me. We went to Alberta and back in a period of like three days. I served my mission there, so I was excited to go back and show Jennifer some highlights. One of the things I was never able to do as a missionary was visit the historic fort at Fort McLeod, Alberta. So when we were there with the girls, I decided: now is our chance! I can't remember the cost it was something like $15 a person. I was excited. I thought it was going to be an exciting horse show with the RCMP. Instead, it was a group of ninth-grade girls dressed up as Canadian Mounties. I can't remember all the music, but at one point they were riding to Chariots of Fire. I was getting totally frustrated that I spent money for the junior high horse show and I was about to lose it when Jennifer told me to look at the girls. To them it was the most magical thing they have ever seen. They were so excited by the horses and the music. My expectations had been dashed but this was the greatest thing the girls had ever seen. I learned to relax while traveling, and not to put such a high cost/benefit analysis on every activity. The kids were having a good time that was enough for me.

Welcome to the minivan of life!

Welcome family, friends, and strangers. I hope you will enjoy and contribute to my musings about life with our family of seven and our journeys together. This is not a travel blog. However, I will often talk about the travels we have had and hope to have. This is not a parenting blog, yet you will be subjected to my views, practices, and mistakes in parenting. It is definitely not a blog about politics, religion, or faith but they will surely come up as those topics are the passions of my life. This will be a blog to reflect, project, and share all that matters to us. So buckle up in the minivan of life and enjoy the ride!